Bar Runner: The Heroes of Telemark

The awesome Kirk Douglas, speaking with a flawless Vinjemål.

Finally, after two years since running Helteløpet for the first time, the Bar Runners was toeing the starting line in beautiful Rauland, Telemark. They've changed the course from road to trail, added a few ekstra kilometers and Bar Runners had doubled the number of starters, even though Keiko, the human whale, had dropped out. Kristoffer "Hard as Nails" Wilthil stepped up and was anxious to test his long running skills. We left early and chose the scenic route which gave us just enough time to grab some coffee, change attire and lubricate danger areas.

Kris has just applied some Vaseline in "privacy".

The weather was rather cold and the clouds were dark and heavy, promising rain and posing the jacket-or-no-jacket dilemma for a few people when we got on the bus to start. We got to wait in a hotel lobby because of the cold, so we decided to book a room while we were up there. It would be nice to save us the trouble of looking for rooms after finishing, being tired and muddy and all that.

Getting cocky before the start.

After visiting the bathroom a few times, we got out of the hotels comfortable confines and jogged out to the start with a few minutes to, well, answer natures call for the last time. We were definitely well hydrated, and perhaps a bit nervous. Five minutes to go and we stripped down, fired up the Garmins and wondered if we had time for a last twinkle. We were just leaking water.

Fighting the urge to pee

And we're off! We noticed right away that we were going at a very good pace, perhaps too good and suddenly it was a cacophony of beeps as a dozen Garmins announced the passing of the first kilometer.

I knew that my best chance to get out of the crowd would be on the first climb so I wanted to get in a good position for the move. I skipped and dodged around people up a small hill and noticed that I hadn't told Kris about the plan, he was a little behind me and I couldn't stop. We nodded to each other and I went off attacking the first long climb. I had hoped to stay with him for longer, but the competitive instinct kicked in and I had to get in position.

I charged up the hill like a maniac and was at one point worried that I overdid it, but before I got to winded we headed out to a single trail that slowed me down. I was in the back of a long line and my impatience and urge to overtake runners caused the first setback. The trail was pretty technical with mud, rocks and bogs so it was tricky to scan for space to overtake somebody and focusing on where to put your feet at the same time. After a few cheeky moves I got what I deserved; I snagged my foot on a root and fell hard on my elbow and shoulder. I heard the guy behind me go "whops!" and possibly "That's right, m*********er, cutting in front of me like that!" under his breath. I scrambled up before he could go past me, bruised, a few gashes, though nothing but my pride hurt.

After focusing on the ground for awhile, I got in behind an older fellow that kept a good pace. I called him the Asics Dude because of the socks and I would stay close behind him for much of the race. We were overtaking people fast and when we got out of the single trail and down to a lake I made my first mistake - I got out of the trail and hurled myself down a rocky slope to overtake a handful of runners. When I got down in one piece and on a broad gravel road I realized that I had shot up my quads for nothing. It was plenty of room to overtake people on for the next couple of kilometers. Oh, well. I got behind Asics Dude and started on the next climb into another single trail.

At around 10K I got into a gaggle of runners on my own level - getting ahead on the uphills and falling back on the downhills, though it was mostly flat and on dirt road so it was rather even. There was a tall, long legged guy I kept passing on every little climb just for him to shoot past me on the downhill. After yo-yoing like this a few times we spoke about this and he said: "Well, you're a Hobbit, so you climb better. Oh, a long descent ahead, see you later!"

Frodo Baggins. (photo by Telemarkshelten.no)

We got some chocolate and electrolyte at an aid station by the cheerful volunteers before getting on some technical single trailed terrain again. I felt good and full of energy ahead of 10-20 people before I almost lost my shoe in the bog. When it happend a few times I stopped to tie it tighter on just for the whole group that I spent the last half hour getting past, running off. It was a mental blow and to make matters worse, I nearly lost my other shoe. Both of my band-aids on my heels had been worn off and the heel caps of my shoes were digging into my achilles. To top it off, it was pretty much all downhill from there, literally. My quads were shoot, and I had a hard time watching people screaming past.

The course would flatten eventually and I felt better and better, my spirit getting boosted as we got closer to the finish and more people and volunteers cheered us on. With only 4 or 5 K to go I had closed in on the group that had zoomed past me earlier.

An older guy suddenly snagged his foot on wire and crashed down awkwardly. I stopped to help him up again when I saw his distorted face.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I think my back is shot," He said as I helped him up. I saw him limp off with his hand on the small of his back. It must have been sad to throw in the towel so close to the finish.

Just a 2 K from the finish and we turned into a road. I hadn't realized that it was a steep climb left and I could spot the Asics Dude way up there, powerhiking, no less! I got in my short-stepped, tippy-tappy climbing mode and tiptoed past the whole group ahead of me, getting 5 meters behind mr. Asics. The last 700 meters to the finish was all downhill and I just couldn't get past him. I crossed the line in 2:12:47 and went straight up to him, shaking his hand and telling him that it was nice to finally seeing him from the front.

I went berserk at the food table and went in to collect the bag with my stuff. When I got back out again I could feel both my heels stinging. I got my shoes off and, man, it wasn't pretty. People walking past asked me if I was ok. "Yeah, 'tis but a scratch," I said, archaically.

"Worry thy not, Milady, I shall venture yonder to the Red Cross Squire and
have him heal my grievous wounds! Farethywell and Godspeed!"

But as I was looking for the Red Cross guys, a familiar blue shirt roared across the finish line, at an impressive 2:25:11. Kristoffer was worried about being last or not finishing after being reduced by shin splints the last few weeks, but this was a really great achievement. The Bar Runners made a good display and we were both thrilled by the experience. 25K across a beautiful landscape, with the sun shining and sharing the good feeling with hundred of runners and happy volunteers.

Kris' feeling good.

The positives

In the end it was a good race, I executed the plan of going for the few early ascents perfectly. I felt I maintained a good form and kept a steady pace, in fact, I was worried a few times in the flat parts that it was too fast. And the last climb up the road where everybody else were reduced to hiking I still had enough steam to float ahead, that felt really good and all the hill training paying off.

The weather was perfect and the organizers have picked an incredible route.

The negatives

The shoes, or rather my lack of tying them on properly. I've had blisters before and just to be safe I put on some band-aids at strategic areas, but they came off when it got wet and my shoes almost slipped off.

My downhills must be improved, my error at the first descent almost ruined the race later on. I guess it's down to rashness and impatience of getting ahead.

Those two things bothered me, but in the end it was easily forgotten as we both were pretty elated and couldn't stop talking about running for the rest of the evening.