Today the Bar Runner Team announced that they had signed the Strawweight Barfly Thomas "Keiko" Wilthil, who is famous for the infamous Thomas Talking pop-duo, drinking St. Brendan's Irish Cream Liqueur without being ashamed of it and being deceptivly fat.
-He will be an addition to the team, says the Bar Runner President without revealing too much of the reason for the signing.
Thomas Wilthil is world famous for many things in Drammen, especially Øren, but has no experience in long distance running. The former boy band super star has finished a 10 K run in Oslo in 2011 with the impressive time of 53:14, for which he came in second in his Diet Soda Dependent-class.
- A rising zeppelin, the Light Soda Appreciation Society Norwegian Branch called him after awarding him with the Pepsi Max Athlete of Year prize for this achievment. The winner was disqualified after testing positive on water. He was later banned form LSASNB.
There has been a lot of speculation of what he would do next and according to a secret source he has been offered a six-pack of vintage Tab Extra as a signing-on bonus.
- I have no comment, the Bar Runner President said when confronted with this.
Other experts has pointed out that this is an effort from Mr. Wilthil's PR-team to rebrand him after the "The Highland Fairy"-incident that left him disgraced and led to the dissolution of Thomas Talking. His short lived solo career as The Lord of the Highland Dance was a critical and financial failure after it was known that he still drank Saint Brendan Irish Cream Liqueur. The Higland Dance Associaton revoked his scottishness licence and he had to cancel his UK-tour.
- Nooo, ah willnae comment on the St. Brendan-drinking, ah've apologized and mooved on, the half Scottish Wilthil said earlier when asked about it.
- I'm positive he wont be doing that kind of stuff anymore, he made a promise and that's all I need. He was a kid and made a mistake over 10 years ago. Let's move on please, said the Bar Runner President.
He'll be hoping to focus the White Owl for Helteløpet in september. It is expected that Bar Runner will sign up more runners for the event, to be announced shortly. But the main goal will be to avoid any scandals that can affect the team, with the addition of Børresens Biggest Wuss.
- I can't believe how a press conference of only one person can turn this hostile, said The Bar Runner President and stormed out.
- un[expletive]believable!
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ReplyDeleteAmir
Gleder meg bare til at transferhandelen om The Bosnian Badass mellom Hemmesofan FK og Bar Runner Team går igjennom ;)
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