Bar Runner Team Signs Thomas "Keiko" Wilthil

24.02.2012 Bar Runner Head Quarters, Drammen, Norway

Today the Bar Runner Team announced that they had signed the Strawweight Barfly Thomas "Keiko" Wilthil, who is famous for the infamous Thomas Talking pop-duo, drinking St. Brendan's Irish Cream Liqueur without being ashamed of it and being deceptivly fat.

-He will be an addition to the team, says the Bar Runner President without revealing too much of the reason for the signing.

Thomas Wilthil is world famous for many things in Drammen, especially Øren, but has no experience in long distance running. The former boy band super star has finished a 10 K run in Oslo in 2011 with the impressive time of 53:14, for which he came in second in his Diet Soda Dependent-class.

- A rising zeppelin, the Light Soda Appreciation Society Norwegian Branch called him after awarding him with the Pepsi Max Athlete of Year prize for this achievment. The winner was disqualified after testing positive on water. He was later banned form LSASNB.

There has been a lot of speculation of what he would do next and according to a secret source he has been offered a six-pack of vintage Tab Extra as a signing-on bonus.

- I have no comment, the Bar Runner President said when confronted with this.

Other experts has pointed out that this is an effort from Mr. Wilthil's PR-team to rebrand him after the "The Highland Fairy"-incident that left him disgraced and led to the dissolution of Thomas Talking. His short lived solo career as The Lord of the Highland Dance was a critical and financial failure after it was known that he still drank Saint Brendan Irish Cream Liqueur. The Higland Dance Associaton revoked his scottishness licence and he had to cancel his UK-tour.

- Nooo, ah willnae comment on the St. Brendan-drinking, ah've apologized and mooved on, the half Scottish Wilthil said earlier when asked about it.

- I'm positive he wont be doing that kind of stuff anymore, he made a promise and that's all I need. He was a kid and made a mistake over 10 years ago. Let's move on please, said the Bar Runner President.

He'll be hoping to focus the White Owl for Helteløpet in september. It is expected that Bar Runner will sign up more runners for the event, to be announced shortly. But the main goal will be to avoid any scandals that can affect the team, with the addition of Børresens Biggest Wuss.

- I can't believe how a press conference of only one person can turn this hostile, said The Bar Runner President and stormed out.

- un[expletive]believable!

Kongsberg - Drammen

I decided to run home from a political convention last weekend. People would call me crazy, stupid or liberal, but apart from not understanding why anybody would endure a whole weekend of political, well, stuff(I'm not sure if we actually accomplished anything worthwhile), I got some surprised reactions. It really isn't as far as what people think, and my god, after being inside a stuffed conference room the the entire weekend running 38 K is a welcome relief.

But it was a great run and I couldn't help myself smiling at times.

The start wasn't all that great though, I felt heavy and slow in the climb out of Kongsberg, but it passed after a few K's when I was more preoccupied with the icy roads on the descents. I should probably have worn the trail shoes instead of the road ones. Or microspikes. Or waited until spring.

I really started to enjoy myself when the terrain levelled out and I could see the snowcapped mountains far away. I lucked out with the weather as well, especially with the sunset that painted everything in a bright pink. The Eikern lake was a treat and the area looked like a terrific hiking/fishing area. I guess I got an new place to explore this summer.

The temperature was good, though I could really feel the change when I ran in to some woods while the sun dipped beneath the horizone. Though I had been smart and packed a soft shell for that, I hadn't packed smart - a banana had desintegrated and left a mess in the back pack. I smelled of ripe banana the rest of the way. Thankfully I didn't get molested by hungry and vicious monkeys who are known to roam theese parts.

I had planned a slightly shorter route, but when the darkness fell and me being self-aware enough to not trust my direction finding skills I played it safe and followed the roads straight north to Hokksund. Where I kind of got lost so I had to ask some of the locals as to where the shortest way to Drammen was. I think he thought I was some snobby asshole or something, because it wasn't the straightest route, but I wasn't about to argue with someone in this notorious lawless hellhole so I kept pressing on along the river.

The rest of way home was rather uneventful, I scared the bejesus of a known eccentric of Mjøndalen just by running past him and I managed to splash through a puddle that had disguised itself as an ice sheet. But apart from feeling a bit tired and sore I maintained a decent pace almost all the way to my doorstep.



In the end I ran 38,21 kilometres in 4:26 with an average moving pace of 6:47 min/km. It seems crazy, and guess people try to expose the irrationality of this by asking the simple "why?", but I counter with the really cheesy and sooo Nike slogan-ish "Because I can," then I turn around and limp away majestically [cue dramatic music and fade out].